Noises Everywhere

 The world is so so loud. So many advices. So many critiques. It’s so hard to even hear your own voice in your own head not to talk more of the Holy Spirit

 

There’s this high that comes with getting a new job and just finishing school and you feel like you have arrived. That you have finally become the person you have always dreamt you would become. Then in a moment it all vanishes, like all your big achievements seem to be nothing. 

 

Why? Because of the noise of the outside world. Because the streets of social media on every platform is rowdy, filled with people doing bigger things than you have done, filled with people you thought would rejoice with you when you announced your big wins but they’re no where to be found and you start to question yourself if you actually accomplished anything at all. 

 

This is me, the noise is getting to me and let me tell you my parents are not making it any better. They don’t seem to be proud of me from the looks of things. Cause trust African parents now before they actually say they’re proud of you, it’s either your grades are skyrocketing or there’s one big celebration going on. I’m out of uni and they never thought to say I’m proud that you got two jobs without needing our help. The next thing that comes out from their mouth when you ask them for little financial help is “Ahn Ahn don’t you have money, aren’t you working?”  

 

Or they start talking about NYSC, masters, getting married and not my daughter well done. We are truly proud of how far you’ve come and we know it hasn’t been easy but we’re proud of you. 

 

The noise outside of my head and inside don’t seem to be made of my own voices anymore or the voices of those cheering me on or the voice of God. All of that has been silenced and it’s filled with do more, you’re not doing enough, time waits for no man, where’s the money you said you’re making. I just want to shut it all up. 

I sound ungrateful I know but this is my blog and I’ll write exactly what I’m led to write. But I can never take God’s grace for granted. Never thought I would get here this fast but the noise won’t let me be